and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
