The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
