Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
