READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
