I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
