I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
