I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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