I'm jealous of your bromance
farters have to be the big spoon...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
