Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
