There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
