it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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