i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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