I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
