I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
