Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
