Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
