would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
