no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
