uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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