I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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