Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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