you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
