chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
