you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
