Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
