so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
