he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
