i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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