so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
