is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
