Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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