Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
