it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I look better un-naked...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
