I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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