So drunk its hurt
how can u be prego again
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sorry about my life...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
