You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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