Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
