I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Pants are for mortals
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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