K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
