His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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