DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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