I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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