Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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