I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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