i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
