okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
