Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
