He asked to "fluff my boner.."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
