I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
