Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
