she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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