I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
