guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All the doctor said was why
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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