if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
