I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
