It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
